Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
