you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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