haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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