Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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