What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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