I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She bit a glass in half.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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