Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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