im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Even my vagina gasped.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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