grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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