i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
