I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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