when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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