Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
