Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
