But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I believe in your delicious
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
