dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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