please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
