Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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