in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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