What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
