Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
