I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
