Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
