My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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