Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
