Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
