Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
They took my balls.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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