she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize