I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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