No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
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If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The adults are the big ones right?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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