I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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