how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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