just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
