I need help removing her.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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