Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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