Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize