I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
