Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
this is an emotional support booty call
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
