I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
