Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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