apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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