And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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