There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize