I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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