Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
this just has baby written all over it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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