i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
