The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize