Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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