Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome

  (914): View more from New York

  i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"

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  (716): so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome (914): i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends" http://tfl.nu/p6rp
  Replies (26) Good night (2278) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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  (703): I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is. http://tfl.nu/7kmq
  Replies (53) Good night (783) Bad night (3099)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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  (303): I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college http://tfl.nu/ihdi
  Replies (35) Good night (5043) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate

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  (408): I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate http://tfl.nu/wgyo
  Replies (15) Good night (1917) Bad night (3367)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  This explains so much.

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  (205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy
  Replies (30) Good night (18324) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail

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  (267): Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail http://tfl.nu/spjw
  Replies (9) Good night (5024) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..

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  (902): i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this.. http://tfl.nu/inhx
  Replies (14) Good night (1448) Bad night (3825)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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  (636): I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle. http://tfl.nu/niba
  Replies (6) Good night (2244) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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  (501): These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves. http://tfl.nu/s1g0
  Replies (6) Good night (3323) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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  (845): This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink. http://tfl.nu/qaqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2398) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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  (510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj
  Replies (15) Good night (1490) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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  (251): dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists http://tfl.nu/lizw
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!

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  (612): Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend? (701): In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing! http://tfl.nu/fqw2
  Replies (11) Good night (2003) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING

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  (201): Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING http://tfl.nu/cx17
  Replies (3) Good night (574) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  there was so much lube in my brother's closet...

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  (847): there was so much lube in my brother's closet... http://tfl.nu/yytv
  Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (878)

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