please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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