I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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