we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
where are you?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.