just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.