Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.