the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me