Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.

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  (843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call. http://tfl.nu/3web
  Replies (69) Good night (5700) Bad night (1181)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

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  (313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone. http://tfl.nu/vfbd
  Replies (40) Good night (14355) Bad night (1659)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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  (508): Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen. (781): I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night. (508): Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street. http://tfl.nu/mnwi
  Replies (25) Good night (1261) Bad night (2542)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.

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  (402): as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy. http://tfl.nu/byhd
  Replies (21) Good night (739) Bad night (6084)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

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  (407): Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing. http://tfl.nu/4f2e
  Replies (9) Good night (4686) Bad night (1033)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.

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  (616): I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her. http://tfl.nu/z7hr
  Replies (9) Good night (5953) Bad night (866)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.

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  (254): Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/9aes
  Replies (3) Good night (2757) Bad night (928)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...

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  (305): woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"... http://tfl.nu/ev8f
  Replies (5) Good night (3777) Bad night (1248)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.

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  (519): Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked. http://tfl.nu/677j
  Replies (6) Good night (495) Bad night (1273)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?

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  (407): How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong? http://tfl.nu/4ez3
  Replies (12) Good night (1228) Bad night (486)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.

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  (440): Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car. http://tfl.nu/ebaa
  Replies (6) Good night (2577) Bad night (930)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.

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  (816): They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/cb9a
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (576)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5

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  (616): Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5 http://tfl.nu/krr8
  Replies (8) Good night (687) Bad night (792)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.

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  (281): This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse. http://tfl.nu/ekrm
  Replies (8) Good night (370) Bad night (774)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.

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  (+44): He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED. http://tfl.nu/pyul
  Replies (3) Good night (910) Bad night (556)

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