Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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