If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
