Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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