Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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