I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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