we're blogging at a bar
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize