Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
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We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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