Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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