So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
COCAINE IS GR8
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize